Shimoniac Jones

I didn't lose my mind – it fled in terror.

Blasted Cold

Here we are at the end of the first week of January and I have a cold. Boo-hoo, I hear you say out there in the blogosphere. I will take your pity, even as you mock me; I have no shame, you see. This cold started innocuously enough; a little tickle in the back of the throat, caused by the dry air I thought.
Then I coughed through the time I was supposed to be sleeping. Cough medicine, decongestants, and analgesics, all ineffective against the dread invader of my body. I was sitting in the living room before work on Friday when the chills set in. I can still make it to work I assured myself, I’ll just dope myself to the gills and wear some layers. I got to the kitchen table when it suddenly felt like I had been set on fire. I was now running a fever. “How high?” you ask. I don’t know. I’m not interested in knowing how close I came to death. I want to be surprised when the Grim Reaper taps me on the shoulder and says, “Come with me”.
I gave up and called in sick to work. Even assuming I could get there, there is no way I could operate heavy machinery safely. I take some comfort in the fact that I’m not the first one to take a sick day this year; two of my co-workers took Thursday off. On the other hand, one guy at work; let’s put it this way, I’ve buried things that looked healthier than him, and still he staggers in.
I’m going to blame him for my current condition.
After calling in, I went back upstairs to bed. I pulled the sheet over my face to save the coroner the hassle of doing it himself. I won’t say that I went to sleep, only that I lost consciousness. Sleep is restful and restorative, what I got wasn’t all that restful, and I don’t feel very restored. I had fever dreams, was freezing one moment, broiling the next, and generally had a miserable time. I did swim back to reality a couple of times to dose myself with cough medicine, etc. again.
When I woke up, I began wandering through the house like a forlorn ghost in search of tissues and soothing potions.
So, here I am, sitting at my computer, timing my keystrokes to my coughing and sneezing, telling you how miserable I feel. Why? Because I can.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Shudder. I won’t make that mistake again soon, I can tell you. I still feel like crap, but I think that with good luck and perseverance, I might, just might, survive this trip through illness.
On the subject of sick days, my company, a couple of years ago, in an effort to reduce absenteeism, put a program in place to reward people who don’t take unscheduled time off. If you make it through a predetermined six month period with perfect attendance, they will give you a day off with pay. I’ve actually earned two of them. Oh well, there’s always next time.
If you’ll excuse me, I have to go pour the hot water over the tea bags and let the pink elephant out of my head where he’s been doing some renovations.

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7 thoughts on “Blasted Cold

  1. whiteladyinthehood on said:

    Well, I hope you are feeling better.

  2. Poor Bro… Take a hug out of petty cash, because I’m not giving you a real one until that bug is gone. Love you!

  3. I’ll take that hug, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to do it in person. If I didn’t have to live with me, I surely wouldn’t.

  4. So that’s why you haven’t been out of your room!

  5. Thanks for sharing. LOL

  6. nothing worst than a cold. Well actually, there are plenty of things that are worst, but when you are stricken with a cold, it certainly feels like there is nothing worst. I have recently discovered something worst than a cold (no, not my mother in law coming for a visit, that is worst than a nuclear disaster, not a cold), and that is when my lady has a cold. She lies next to me in the bed sniffling, tossing and turning from side to side, coughing and wheezing, tissues buried under pillows, the smell of Vicks and Halls throughout the room…and the knowledge that before weeks’ end, I shall inherit her cold…Drink lots of fluids and eat oranges! Get well soon

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